LadyLexi

It wasn't always with bitterness that I felt such things. It was once, some time ago, with a bleak optimism that I viewed the world. That was in the before. Before the call, before the illness, before the diagnosis, before the sheer panic contained within the "what if?". It was a little over a year and a half ago. Decisions best left unmentioned had left you in a dark place. Against your will. It was with despair that we all prayed that this - this would be your rock bottom. This would be the time when you finally stopped, took pause, and thought about where your life was going, what was happening with your children, that you would finally grow up. Four years older than I chronologically, but still very much that scared, lost, angry little boy of four decades ago. I didn't desire for it to be in the words of Maynard, that it was "a little bit too much to expect from the wounded "- and yet we did. We did expect for you to come out of that hole and be better. To need to do better.